On judgemental people

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(Everything underlined is a link. Click!)

So, I read a blog called Adventures of a Thrifty Mama and the other day she posted a delicious rice pudding recipe.

Somehow, this triggered a very angry rant from a person who seems to have a problem with the fact that Chris (a marvelous woman, by the way) is a stay at home mother who blogs about how she saves money while homeschooling and feeding her family.

This person spent a good amount of time writing not just one but two angry rants (see Facebook for further commentary) about how Chris needs to get a J-O-B and stop wasting time posting blogs about rice pudding.

For one, I happen to really benefit from the posts on AoaTM, since I am a stay at home mother with children and a large family who loves getting tips on everything from gardening to recipes to defining your core values.

This person, however, seems to believe that by staying home with her children (and for health reasons) and by using her money wisely and doing as much as she can for herself, Chris is being selfish and wasteful.

Since when has being a homemaker become the easy way out? I, for one, find it much harder to stay home and care for my family than when I was working full time. Here, we don’t have the luxury of my income, and I still have just as many (more, actually) mouths to feed. BUT! More than that, I don’t have any way of avoiding what needs done here. I can’t just say “Oh, I worked all day, you take care of it.” I can’t avoid problems that come up in the house, because they come up right under my nose. I’m not taken by surprise- “What? We’re out of eggs?” or shocked “What do you mean, the baby colored on the wall?” because

I.

Am.

Right.

Here.

I am present, all day, with my kids. I can’t say “I don’t know where he learned that!” or “How did she find those?”

I live fully in this life with my brilliant, disaster-causing, crying, laughing, whining, beautiful family. I am fully engaged every day with every little struggle, triumph and tribulation that every family member experiences, because I am -here-.

So go ahead, anonymous commenter. Hate on the stay at home mom. At least she’s one hundred percent aware of her family and her home, and at least she’s found the joy that your J-O-B or your family has not provided you.

For the rest of the mothers, fathers, guardians, homemakers, breadwinners, and all the rest of you who struggle with this glorious, beautiful battle of family and work, finances and food, beauty and tragedy and whining and laughter- congratulations. You’re doing the hardest J-O-B that there is, and I thank you every moment for it!

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6 responses »

  1. Debra: Bravo also to the working mother, who works hard to provide for her family- to the stay at home dad, to the working father, to anyone who does what they do with love and joy! Priorities are as unique and individual as each family- let us never forget that the goal is to do the best you can with what you have, and to love and share that love! (A stay at home mother who made hateful comments to a working mother would be just as bad as the anonymous hateful commenter who was nasty to Chris!)

  2. I didn’t see the posts which triggered a little flurry…and I believe people have their rights. I have a problem with those that act holier than thou. I understand where some people do need to get out and get a job….but like you said being a staqy at home mom is more full time than any other job I know. I had to work…I didn’t qualify for food stamps and after I paid for daycare for 3 kids I had an extra $72 a week to feed all of us. Twenty years ago that was hard also. I believe people that argue the stay at home mom are jealous of the choice they made and have not stopped to look at the whole picture. Keep up the good work ladies and keep blogging and perhaps we someday may get back to reality in this country.

  3. Awesome post!

    I am not a Mom,it just wasn’t in the cards for us,but any woman who can stay home 24/7 taking care of screaming,crying,whining,coloring on the walls kids,and still keep her sanity enough to put food on the table,get everything done that needs done,and find ways to save money and make life a little better for themselves,and to top it off,share those ideas with others…….well,they just deserve a big ol’ pat on the back…..I couldn’t do it…… 🙂

    • What about the stay at home mama who tends to the cheerful, laughing, messy, delightful, and beautifully intelligent, curious, and loving child? There’s more than just crayon on the walls and whining to a child!

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